How Does Repentance Feel?

On Repentance #7

---

Previous Posts in this Series on Repentance

#1 Do You Want To Change?

#2 Why Do I Do What I Don’t Want to Do?

#3 What Did You Think Would Happen?

#4 I’m OK, You’re Not

#5 When Temptation Strikes

#6 Addicted

In this series I am interacting with Dudley J. Delffs’ A Repentant Heart: The Joy of Restoring Intimacy With God. I am posting these on an “occasional” basis as I work through Delffs’ book a second time. I’m not in a hurry.

---

We probably do not realize the power of feelings / emotions in our lives as we make decisions about what we will be willing to do, not willing to do. Repentance is not reserved for the moments when we’ve had a big fall. Repentance is a normal part of the everyday Christian life. None of us can life life without shortcomings. There’s a line we do not want to cross, however. We do not want to use God’s amazing grace and forgiveness as an excuse to continue in sinful behavior. And when it comes to feeling guilty, how do we know when it is the work of the Spirit convicting us of our sin or the work of the Enemy who would rather we just wallow in self—pity?

Delffs: …The way people respond to their sin often exposes, more than anything else, their belief system and the extent to which they trust God. Think of your response before God when confronted with your sin as a kind of faith barometer. Do we dare believe that He can know the full measure of our wickedness and still love us?

Guilt and Shame

In the end, for the believer, sin never ends up feeling good. The recognition of it produces guilt and shame. How do we respond to those feelings?

Destructive responses include…

• Self-pity

• A feeling of helplessness

• Justification of our sin

• Uncertainty that God will forgive

• Continuing in sin seeking comfort and pleasure

• Pretending everything is OK

• Denial

All of these responses will leave us weakened, enslaved to sin, and unable to move forward in our spiritual journey. We are unable to alleviate these feelings on our own - we just perpetuate them when we fail to turn to the One who can deal with our sin.

Looking Upward

A different way of approaching our need for repentance and dealing with guilt and shame is to acknowledge our sinfulness and neediness before God.

It’s coming to our senses, like the prodigal, and realizing the truth about who we are, what we have access to, and most importantly, who God is. He is not the benign grandfather of our imaginations, not the tyrannical drill sergeant, not the detached cosmic observer, not the absent father of our childhoods. he is the God of the Universe… He is neither powerless or legalistic. He is alive. He runs down the path to meet us in the tenderest embrace… —Delffs

Guilt and shame still exist. But when we look upward, we allow those feelings to drive us back to God instead of inwardly looking for nonexistent solutions. Delffs writes, “When we desire to know God rather than simply use Him to feel better about ourselves and our problems, then we make vertical choices … into the brokenheartedness of repentance.” Guilt becomes conviction. Shame becomes sorrow over the ways we hurt others and ourselves. If we listen to Scripture, at no point are we hearing a message that sin doesn’t matter. Sin produces consequences. If we look inward, we are afflicted by the turmoil of it all. When we look upward, we are driven to One who knows and loves us and will help us if we will yield to Him.

This is Not a Solo Journey

We come to realize that the Holy Spirit of God lives within us and will help us in turning our lives around toward the Father. He is helping us in prayers and giving us strength.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with sighs too deep for words. And he who searches the hearts of men knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.—Romans 8:26-27

With God’s help, repentance then becomes a conduit toward a more godly life. If we will follow that path. None of us will do that without failure, but that’s why it is an ongoing pursuit and not a one time effort. Delffs suggests some practical ways to keep repentance as a part of our journey:

• Focus on some of the smaller daily choices that may be leading you down the wrong path.

• Cultivate habits of solitude (time alone with God)

• Pray (talking with God)

• Study your Bible (Learning about Him and His stories)

These are not surprising suggestions, but they are powerful ones. “We should know ourselves well enough to know we will fail, and we should know God well enough to accept His loving mercy.” (Delffs).

As we spend a few minutes thinking about how repentance feels, ask God to give you some insight into those feelings and what they should be. Peter asserted that he would die before he denied knowing the Lord, but we know how that story went. Afterwards Peter wept. If we are honest with ourselves before the Lord, it shouldn’t be uncommon for there to be tears.

Repentance is not joyful to engage, but the resulting grace and forgiveness can remove the heavy weight that we carried when we were trying to overcome sin on our own.

“Life will not be easier living with a repentant heart, but it will be more deeply satisfying and rewarding as we glorify our Creator by living out who He has redeemed us to be.” Delffs is digging into this subject and he is not trying to provide a quick fix. That’s one reason why I think his book is so important.

Thanks for reading. Your reflections are welcome.