True repentance begins by taking an honest inventory within ourselves, owning up to our sinful condition as well as our longing for more. —Dudley J. Delffs, A Repentant Heart: The Joy of Restoring Intimacy With God, p. 19
One of my favorite parables, and maybe a favorite of every sinner, is the story of the prodigal son. Prodigal means “wasteful,” and that’s a good description of his actions. Every time I think about this parable, I remember Henri J. Nouwen’s amazing book, The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming. But I also remember that this story is familiar. It is familiar because I have heard it most of my life. And it is familiar because I have lived it to one degree or another, several times in my life.
You remember that the younger son received his inheritance early, then headed out into the world and blew every cent. He went up like a rocket and came down like a rock. At a low point, “He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything” (Luke 15:16). I do not read that with much emotion, but Delffs offers some insight:
“…Growing up on a farm in Tennessee, it’s a graphic picture. I shudder to think about being so desperately hungry that I would ever eat from the pails I used to empty in a big, muddy trough. Usually the scraps had accumulated over several days: moldy bread, spoiled meats, cornhusks, and rotten apple cores. On a hot summer day the stench alone often made me nauseated. While the prodigal’s pig-food may not have been exactly like mine, it was no less repulsive.” p. 20
Well, that’s vivid. Jesus says that the prodigal “came to his senses” (Luke 15:17).
No doubt you have experienced that moment.
What used to be “fun” isn’t fun anymore, it hurts.
What seemed “innocent” is creating guilt.
What we thought wouldn’t matter to God has become a barrier.
What we regarded as a secret is in full view of our Redeemer.
What we once thought was “old fashioned” has now become relevant.
Getting back to a safe place is now priority one.
So the prodigal decides to go home. With the weights of shame and guilt blinding him, he decides to climb out of the slop by becoming one of this Father’s servants. “The son’s worst-case scenario is to return, face his dad’s justifiable wrath, and become a servant, a hired hand” (Delffs). It’s time to go home. It is very possible that someone reading this right now has a great desire to go home to Abba. But you may not know what to expect.
What did you think would happen?
Sometimes what we know to be true is tempered by how we feel. We can come to believe that God loves everyone in the world, except us. The wasteful son isn’t coming home to be a son. He imagined that he would be met with contempt. He would be met with by a Father who had to be talked into taking him back. He thought that he had ruined that Father/Son bond, but maybe he could at least have a roof and some decent food.
Delffs imagines, “I’ll walk up the path to the house, stop Him from His busy schedule, and He’ll laugh, ‘I knew you’d be back, you worthless son.’ From there He’ll become a cruel judge conducting a line-item audit of all the sordid ways I spent my inheritance, all the sinful ways I’ve tried to make life work without Him. And you know what? He has every right to do this” (p. 22).
Repentance carries an uncertainty with it, at least that is how we may feel. Will the Father forgive one more time?
But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. -Luke 15:20-23
Above all of the feelings that falling into sin can create … guilt, weakness, unworthiness, shame, regret, hurting yourself, hurting others … is the reality that the Father doesn’t react like you think he might. He is not human. He is not surprised. He is not unable. He does not have to be talked into welcoming the prodigals who return.
As we consider what happens when we repent, I encourage you to read and believe and embrace the revealed truth about how the Father regards sinners who come home.
“Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” —Luke 15:24
Series on Repentance
#2 Why Do I Do What I Don’t Want to Do?
So true John! Hopefully we've all had a 'come to our senses' moment, and then made the right decisions afterward.
Liking this series! Yes, the story is familiar...that's why I loved Nouwen's book, because he pulls back the curtain on the oldest son (it's really the two lost sons) and the father. The print of Rembrandts' Return of the Prodigal Son hangs in my office...