Previous Posts in this Series on Repentance
#2 Why Do I Do What I Don’t Want to Do?
#3 What Did You Think Would Happen?
In this series I am interacting with Dudley J. Delffs’ A Repentant Heart: The Joy of Restoring Intimacy With God
To be perfectly honest, I have hesitated to engage with Delff’s chapter entitled ADDICTIONS. It is probably my own sensitivity to using the term addiction in a more general sense. I have dear friends who work with addiction recovery in a very specific sense. I do not lessen what they do, which is very important. Still, a chemical dependency is not the only form of addiction. The connection between addiction and repentance is clear in my mind, but I also hesitate to use the term addiction in a general sense because it can become the scapegoat for behaviors that one just doesn’t want to give up. So, there is a little bit of trepidation on my part as I approach this.
“Perhaps you have certain sinful habits that you can’t shake no matter how hard you try. Patterns that you feel stuck in, that you always give in to, that seem to go far beyond mere temptations…In fact, we probably all have repetitive behaviors we wish we didn’t. Addictions obviously hinder the repentance process…” —Delffs
Oh, the other reason I am uncomfortable writing about this is that I broke busted my diet today. I wish that was a rare occasion. I saw a friend at a support group meeting tonight. I see her at the gym fairly often. I told her I only go to the gym once a month, whether I need to or not. Humor can only go so far, though.
One way of expressing what the word ADDICTION means is “any compulsive, habitual reliance on a behavior or substance” (via Delffs). We can even be addicted to things that have no physically addictive properties. Addictions become fodder for repeated repentance, which leaves us feeling empty and powerless.
It seems like we ought to just be able to stop doing things that we know intellectually are sinful. But there are many sources of addictive behaviors that go way beyond knowledge. Our past experiences can shape the way we think and how we decide to act. Even more powerful are the temptations for instant gratification. Scripture is clear about the power of temptations of the flesh, the fallen world in which we live, and that mortals “are always looking for ways to feel pleasure and comfort and eliminate (or at least alleviate) pain and other ‘negative’ emotions.’”
Delffs describes this as self-worship, placing ourselves above the expressed will of God. If God deserves all of our worship, then this is an infringement upon our relationship with him. That’s the deceptive and deadly result of sin. It comes between us and God.
HOW DO WE OVERCOME ADDICTION?
In Delff’s view, and I agree with him, this struggle with temptation, sin, control, overcoming, and getting back on the narrow road is not just a matter of doing the right thing. We have to address some inward realization of our identity as God’s children and His desire to be in a relationship with us.
…God is not nearly as concerned about the behavioral aspects of addictive behavior as He is about what it does to our relationship with Him, what it does to our hearts and our reflection of Him. —Delffs
It would be great if God would just intervene and rescue us from addictive behavior, our Divine Problem Solver. This is not our experience, though. The paradox is this:
We want to know God and experience his grace and freedom.
We feel bound to sin, addiction, objects, people, or substances.
How do we break the chains?
It doesn’t seem like rocket science, but it eludes us! Overcoming any addiction is going to require discomfort, struggle, and patient obedience. This is met by the truth that God is the only one who can satisfy our souls. We may fail at times, but we must remain anchored to the Father and desire to grow in our relationship with Him.
DO YOU WANT TO GET WELL?
In John 5, Jesus encounters a lame man by the well who has put all his hopes on being placed in the water when it stirs, believing he will be healed. For thirty-eight years he has been crippled. When Jesus comes across him, he asks an all-important question. “Do you want to get well?” I think that’s an amazingly insightful question. Interestingly, the man does not answer the question. He just rehearses the situation that he can’t get to the water to get well.
He’s not addicted, so it is not an entirely equitable example. But it does call to mind our ultimate desire. What do we want? Do we want to get well? What we really want most must guide our daily decisions.
Examine your heart honestly for a moment. Do you want to be well? Do you want the wholeness of being the man or woman your Father created you to be? Do you desire Him above all else, knowing the cost to be beyond comprehension and yet to be the most free gift of all? How do you answer our Lord’s question based on the way you live your life? Do you want to get well so long as it doesn’t hurt, or are you willing to know the fullness of His healing by paradoxically taking your eyes off your own pain? —Delffs
THE PATH TOWARD HOME
True repentance is turning toward God in the middle of every circumstance. We can define addiction as rooted in something that happened to us in our past or something that we are unwilling to let go of in our present. We can believe that we can’t really be well, that God hasn’t removed our problem, so it isn’t our fault. Ultimately, repentance is uncomfortable and hard and requires our growing trust in God to help us be well. He will. How?
We remind ourselves of who we are and who God is. Our identity is what God tells us our identity is, not as our past, our temptations, our addictions, and our sin want to label us.
We remember that we have choices. The path ahead is not a pre-determined failure in sin. Even when it is uncomfortable, we can make the right choice.
Embrace the struggle of temptation and addiction as a path to knowing God on a deeper and more meaningful level. When we overcome temptation, we feel good. When we fail and come back to God, we accept and appreciate his reception of our repentance. It’s not a straight line, is it?
A repentant heart breaks addictions by facing the full spectrum of emotions that accompany the habit, getting help from others —a friend, spouse, or counselor—as necessary … and viewing the hunger underlying the addiction as a holy appetite for the one true God. A repentant heart chooses to struggle to break old, sinful habits, fails occasionally, but fights onward. —Delffs
Delffs ends his chapter with some journal prompts. I think one in particular gets to the heart of the issue: What does it mean for you to be faithful in small choices, every day, in order to live out your heart’s ultimate desire of knowing your Father? That’s worth some time on our knees.
The next post in this series: The Feelings of Repentance.
Thanks for reading.
Lots of food for thought here, John. No pun intended. I'll have to go back and read the rest of the series to get the full understanding. It was timely.