I'm OK, You're Not

Reflections on Repentance #4

Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but maybe repentance is also. In our last post we explored the repentance of the prodigal / wasteful son. I imagine all of us felt some relief and joy when, instead of rejection, the Father welcomed the sinful son home with celebration. It was a loud celebration, too. Music. Dancing. Food. Happy attire. A joyful occasion. Not everyone was happy.

There was another son.

He came near home, heard music and dancing, and inquired about what was going on. I’ve wondered if he thought he stumbled upon a surprise party for him! It didn’t take him long to realize that his filthy whoring brother who had disgraced the family was home. Not only that- they were celebrating his return. No way he was going to join in on that.

The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’ —Luke 15:28-30

I can almost hear the elevated voice, see the frowned facial features, the aura of anger prominent around the older brother.

I’m OK.

Delffs: “Maybe you’ve grown up in a Christian home, known our Lord a long time, served tirelessly at church, given yourself to every Christian endeavor that comes your way. You can’t really relate to the overt misbehavior of the younger son. You can’t recall any rebellious escapades —no affairs, no addictions, no pursuits for your own pleasure.”

One of the demands of repentance is that you have to recognize within yourself the need. Not this son.

• I’ve served you for years.

• I’ve been slaving for you.

• I’ve never disobeyed your orders.

• I’ve never received a party like this.

• I’m OK - my brother is not.

What a speech. I wonder if he had practiced that, in case that sorry brother of his ever slinked back onto the property. It doesn’t matter. Whenever we think we are OK and it’s the other people who need to repent, we have a problem. Whether it’s a comparison issue (“I’m much better than my wretched brother”) or a pride issue (“I’ve never disobeyed you”) or a judgment issue (“He squandered your property with prostitutes”), it’s a train wreck of self-righteousness.

I’m Not OK.

I can identify with the prodigal’s need to come back to the Father and unexpectedly find himself the recipient of grace and mercy and love. But, the truth is, I can identify with the older brother, too. How often when we are confronted with a fault do we start looking around for someone to blame? The prodigal’s sin kept him away from the Father. The older brother’s failure to recognize his own sin kept him away from the Father. The Father sought both of them. One of them refused, thought he didn’t need it. To hear and accept the Father’s invitation to come in and find the joy he offers, we have to admit that we’re not OK on our own. He is the one who makes us OK.

The Father of Both

The same Father who rushed to welcome his prodigal home is now out in the front yard trying to get his faithful son to come in and join the party.

Delffs: Notice that the father’s grace is offered just as generously to the older son as it is to the younger … He doesn’t even bristle at his eldest’s bitter hatefulness. He responds with the same tenderness that compassionately embraced his vagabond wild son earlier. … It is an unexpected, grace-filled response.

“My son,” the father said, “you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.”—Luke 15:31-32

We do not know what happened with the older brother. But I am glad both of these brothers are in this story. I know what it’s like to wear both of their shoes at different times in my life. Delffs writes, “We all contain the motives of both sons within ourselves as well. Perhaps we can identify with one more than the other, but we’re all forced to contend with what it means to continually turn from our sin—both overt misbehavior and subtle, inherent selfishness—and return to our Father.”

God is OK.

In this story, the only one who is righteous is the father. When we admit our sin we are also admitting that God is without fault. Delffs: “He has every right to disown us and leave us on our own. … We appeal to the goodness manifest in his love offering of Christ’s sacrificial death on the cross. Such humility melts the prideful ice of our hearts and leads to a current of sorrow. Repentance then rises … Out of the brokenness we sorrow deeply for the ways we hurt God and others” (p. 28-29).

Whether we approach God from the perspective of the prodigal or the high-road of the fairly good son, we are in need of His grace because we have not measured up to His righteousness. And that moves us toward repentance.

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Series on Repentance

#1 Do You Want To Change?

#2 Why Do I Do What I Don’t Want to Do?

#3 What Did You Think Would Happen?

In this series I am interacting with Dudley J. Delffs’ A Repentant Heart: The Joy of Restoring Intimacy With God

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Next we will consider Delffs’ chapter on temptation. Thanks for your interest and interaction.

By the way, on Saturday, January 25, I will be the guest writer on Paul Christopher’s substack entitled The Salt & Light Daily. Check it out!