What to expect here…
My experience with the Enneagram
Some introductory information
Links to tests
Evaluation of what it meant to me
Inability to answer really specific questions, but ask anyway
When I first began my substack I mentioned I would be doing some posts about the Enneagram. There was one subscriber who said they were looking forward to it. A friend asked me about where to find an Enneagram test and it reminded me … I never did that Enneagram post. So, here goes.
First, the Enneagram is an ancient means of discovering personality type. There are many different approaches to discovering the differences between human personalities. The psychology behind each of them may be a bit different, but all are seeking to understand how we look at life, how we respond to others, and how we act based on our motives.
“However, in my experience, there are two things we have in common: we all want to belong, and we all want our lives to have meaning. But finding belonging and meaning are dependent on our ability to build and maintain relationships - with people who are like us, and often with those who are not.” - Suzanne Stabile, The Path Between Us
I am not an Enneagram fanatic. There was a time when I was really into discovering all I could about the 9 types, finding which type I believed I was, thinking about the people I know and what type they might be, etc. I read some books (doesn’t that make me an expert?). The Road Back To You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile started that journey. I actually mistyped myself and spent some time thinking I was a particular number, but after a bit, it just didn’t add up. So I re-took the test (every Enneagram follower is nodding their head at this point - most of us did this). I attended a series of sessions at Abilene Christian University that explored this field. I read endless articles and listened to podcasts and watched YouTube Videos.
And then I kind of burned out on it. I mean the 9 types were enchanting, but then I learned that they all have wings. I had already learned that I was a solid 9, leaning often toward 1 (9 wing 1 in Enneagram nomenclature). There are triads (I’m in the body or gut triad). It just got more complex as I learned more and at some point I had to decide to be an Ennea-expert or just be satisfied with what I had gained to this point.
I still think it is valuable and it has helped me. I’ll tell you why.
It pointed out to me, some things about myself that I knew, but I had not identified clearly. (There are parts of my personality that fit into a pattern of behavior and response, and there are others who also fit into that pattern. Once those types are identified, it gives clarity to relationships. I could react a certain way in situations and be self-aware enough to notice.)
It helped me see my own motives in a clearer light. (9s instinctively merge into the personalities of those around, often failing to be themselves out of a desire to avoid conflict. In addition, the ability to see both sides of most issues creates a decision-making snafu.)
It helped me understand how I function in crowds - giving definition to my own reactions. (I’m terrible in a meeting, it’s hard to articulate my real feelings at the moment. Often after a meeting with my church board, I write them a long email explaining my thoughts - which I cannot seem to speak with clarity while sitting at the table.) Again, I always knew that I had trouble with this, but didn’t know it had something to do with a personality trait.
As a nine, I’m a peace seeker, but also a conflict avoider. (That can cause some inner conflict when I’ve kept my own opinion to myself so much that I experience anger at being misunderstood or feeling run over. It helps to know this and to express my thoughts even when it is uncomfortable. )
Although it is a cardinal rule that you do not assign types to other people (how can you know their motives - and that is what these types are all about), it’s hard not to notice reactions and procedures and sometimes see pretty clearly their type. (This is where family relationships can be blessed, as one comes to understand how the closest people think about important things.)
There are many criticisms of Enneagram, which I do not intend to explain away. The Enneagram is not the only way to see things. It doesn’t explain everything. It’s not the only personality system worth your time. But the four things I embrace:
The Enneagram helps me know myself in a better way than I did when I was younger. I wish I had known about it and been more self-aware over the years.
The Enneagram helps me realize that my view, my way, and my thoughts are not the only way to look at things (of course that comes naturally to a 9!).
The Enneagram is not an excuse to misbehave and just declare that it’s because of my number! Each negative thing we see in relation to our personality is an area that needs improvement, and your Enneagram number will help you see the path forward toward that improvement.
The Enneagram is not just about introspection, it’s about relationships. But we learn more about our relationships when we learn how we are interacting with different personalities.
When we are able to see ourselves as we are, and as we can be, it’s a beautiful thing. - Suzanne Stabile, The Path Between Us.
So, where do you go from here if you want to know more? Well, there is an avalanche of materials, videos, posts, podcasts, books - it’s a bit overwhelming. Not every Enneagram author/speaker comes from a Christian viewpoint, so be aware of that. I’ll make a few suggestions. Feel free to add your own suggestions/links in the comments.
TESTS. If you’re new to the Enneagram, you’ll want to take a test. I know that all authors tell us this is the worst approach, but if you don’t want to hire an Enneagram coach or see an Enneagram-oriented counselor, it’s a good start. Also, take the test a couple of times. Maybe take a couple of tests. Wait a week or two and take them again. It is common to miss-type yourself. The truth is, you’ll see something of yourself in all nine numbers - but after thinking through the qualities associated with each number, one will begin to emerge. Here are some free tests (some offer follow-up reports for pay, but I would not do that unless you were super-enthused to know more!). If you’re new to Enneagram and take a test, I’d like to hear about your experience and results!
Top Five Free Enneagram Tests Online
The Enneagram Personality Test
BOOKS. Books that will help you take some first steps into the Enneagram world (I’ve already mentioned two).
The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile
The Path Between Us by Suzanne Stabile
The Enneagram Guide to Waking Up by Beatrice Chestnut
The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective by Richard Rohr
More than Your Number: A Christ-Centered Enneagram Approach to Becoming Aware of Your Internal World - Jeff and Beth McCord
Self to Lose, Self to Find: A Biblical Approach to the 9 Enneagram Types - Marilyn Vancil
What are the Nine Types?
Here’s one explanation using Hollywood familiars! (You are going to find people who explain the nine types in all kinds of ways … movies, television shows, music, etc.)
Beth McCord’s excellent explanations… either by type, or download the explanation summary.
What are the Nine Enneagram Types?
On YouTube you can just enter in the search bar your type number and see there are many selections of lectures and messages - including some by the authors mentioned above. (For example, Beth McCord’s Ennagram YouTube Channel).
LAUGH.
Just for fun, here is the Enneagram Type Nine in Film and Television. Funny, there may be a language bleep here or there. Find your type at the Typecast YouTube channel and prepare to laugh.
On Instagram I follow the Healthy9club … sometimes I laugh… sometimes I say, “Get out of my head.”
I’d love to hear about your Enneagram experience - even if it’s all new to you! If you found this post enjoyable, hit that heart, please!
I’m a psych major--have never done this test or looked into it. Now I am sort of curious.
The Abilene crowd took this idea and ran with it in SO many directions. Its like they discovered fire. In reality, they discovered another fire starter, not fire itself. But that's academia...they attach a LOT of meaning to the latest concept, fad, social stick, culture theme, etc. For me it was an interesting parlor trick. Nothing more. But then I live in the real world with fascinating people on every spectrum. Not in a group think tank. 😁