Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. ~Psalm 139:23, 24
The desire to be close to God in our lives comes with exposure. Psalm 139 begins with this truth: “You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.” That might be one of the mysteries of faith we will never understand. Even though God has searched us and knows us, He still wants to be our Abba. That’s a kind of Divine love that reaches beyond human ability.
God searched my words and heard them all. God searched my heart and knows the things I didn’t say. God searched my mind and knows what I meditated upon. God searched my thoughts and is very aware of the space devoted to Him and the space devoted to other things that are not of Him. God looked at my habits and the things that have taken up places of importance in my life. God observed the ways I cope with pain and longed to provide peace if I would only ask. God knows the offensive ways with me.
So I think it is so courageous of David to write the words he does at the conclusion of this Psalm. Search me, O God, and know my heart. Who has confidence that what God will see is as beautiful as we wish it was? Perhaps that is why David concludes with an appeal to the Lord to lead me in the way everlasting.
Let that be your prayer today. God, see me as I am. Lead me to where I need to go. Help me to be who you want me to be. Remove the obstacles and offensive ways that have settled in to be false resources and empty promises. Relieve the anxiety that sin has created in my heart. Thank you for seeing me as I am so that you can help me have the strength to become more devoted to you. Amen.
John Dobbs
This is beautiful-balm for a weary soul